Corn is the enemy. We’ve learned that by now. High Fructose Corn Syrup is the new anthrax. North America has been leaking this into our digestive systems for decades: in cola, in “fruit” flavored snacks, in 100 real fruit juice cocktail mix, sweets and treats like the once pure and wholesome ice-cream. Then you’ll find it in places where you don’t expect like in breadcrumbs. Breadcrumbs! Why can’t I just purchase pulverized stale bread without a loser sidekick? I’m surprised that Karo corn syrup isn’t locked up behind the pharmacy window for fear of teenagers shooting it up intravenously.
And to Corn growers association or whatever – your dumb commercials highlighting conversations between two people:
“Well it’s got corn syrup”
and then the blank stare…
That marketing strategy only works for people who don’t realize that you cut off the end of the commercial where the person says “So…IT MADE AMERICA FAT” And then [Insert blabber about “in moderation it’s okay….” blah blah blah. ] At a moderate 41 lbs of consumption per person per year, we just surpassed snails on the spectrum of the most immobile species of the animal kingdom. Corn people – take your efforts elsewhere. Go fuel some cars or package electronics with corn remnants so that we don’t have to buy that dumb hand tool from bed bath and beyond to unpackage our new gadgets.
So now that I’ve done an excellent job of selling the benefits of corn consumption with the help of Corn Growers Association sponsorship, I must say this following recipe is DIVINE. If you do find in few years that corn and corn products require a prescription to purchase, I know a guy in the back alley at the farmer’s market that will hook you up. He’s the awkward skinny teenager carrying a backpack and wearing his jeans past his butt. Slip him a 5 and he’ll hook it up with some cobs.
This corn chowder is so rich and creamy, you really don’t need help from milk or cream. We’re just talking about fresh sweet creamy corn, in its most natural state, sliced right off of the cob. Not so terrible, right? This is HEAVENLY.
1 small white onion, finely diced
1 shallot, finely diced
1 celery rib, finely diced
2 Tablespoons vegetable/canola oil
2 bay leaves
4 ears of corn (cut kernels and keep cobs)
1 jalapeno pepper
3 cups water
1 cup milk (1% is fine) or soy milk
1/4 cup cheddar cheese (optional)
1. Saute the first 3 ingredients plus bay leaves in vegetable/canola oil on medium heat for 5 mins or until onions are translucent.
2. Add water, milk and cobbs. Simmer on medium heat for 10 mins. Remove cobs.
3. Cut jalapeno in half, lengthwise. Cut again lengthwise. Add one of these quarter to the simmering liquid after cobs are removed. Add kernels at the same time. Finely dice the remaining jalapeno pepper.
4. Simmer for 5 mins or until corn kernels are tender. Remove jalapeno as bright green color fades/dulls. Remove bay leaves and discard.
5. Turn off heat. Optionally, reserve one ladle-full of the corn kernel solids if you like bits and pieces of corn in your soup. Using an immersion blender, blend the rest of the mixture until smooth. Strain the soup to completely remove all of the fibers and solids. The result is a nice clean creamy soup mixture. If desired, add the reserved spoonful of corn solids again.
6. Serve in soup bowls topped with cheddar cheese and diced jalapeno.
I must add this clause for those who are new to sarcasm. This blog post was not sponsored by Corn Growing People…